Finality Files

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." - Bill Maher

What was wrong with her? She had to call off her classes due to her inability to move even the smallest drop of water. Looking at her hands she frowns. This had never happened before ever since her powers had manifested, she always had control. Yet here she was, sitting in the darkness of her apartment with only a single small lamp as a light source. Hand tightening on the glass she was holding Mia angrily downed the black liquid. Even her permanent grounding device was reading no build up. Her suit wouldn’t power up. She had nothing, she was nothing. With out her powers all she was, was a normal. Nothing better then the cops that walk the streets. She was more then that, she had to believe she was more then just a cop on the street.

Eyes narrowing she flung the empty glass against one of the walls. Shattering on impact Mia took an angry drink from the green bottle. When that ran dry she growled and tossed the bottle over her shoulder. Standing she wobbled before regaining her balance as she moved over to her fridge. Opening it she pulled out a bottle similar to the one she tossed over her shoulder. Carefully making her way to her work station she removes the cap and takes a long drink.

Picking up one of the pistols laying there she staggers backwards, turning so her back hit’s a wall. Sliding down it she stares at the hunk of metal in her hand. As she, one handed, ejects the magazine and one of her fingers releases the safety on the weapon. Once more taking a drink from the bottle in her other hand hot tears roll down her cheeks. Setting the bottle down she racks the slide ejecting the bullet in the chamber. Picking it up her glassy eyes turn to it as she drops the bullet into her hand. Closing her hand she focuses on the coolness of the metal as she once more turns to the bottle to try and drown the helpless feeling clawing its way into her gut.

Leaning her head against the wall Mia looked up at the ceiling. Despite the current fog in her mind her fingers deftly loaded the bullet in her hand into the chamber and unlocked the slide. Finger checking that the safety was off and the hammer was pulled back she brought the gun up and placed the barrel against her temple. Closing her eyes her head moved forward as more tears leaked from her eyes. Finger tightening around the trigger she could hear the voices louder now.

“Do it. Pull the trigger.” Mia’s finger loosened as she placed the flat of the gun against the side of her head. Covering her ears Mia blinked causing more tears to fall as her shirt was slowly becoming tear stained. “Shut up.” She muttered softly as her free hand found the bottle next to her. Taking a long draw from it hoping the black liquid would drown out the voices in her head.

“Weak.” The voices grew louder as Mia placed the handle of her gun over one of her ears as she downed what was left of the bottle trying to drown out the words in the black liquid. “You are worthless.” The voices said.

“Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!” Mia yells, her voice getting louder as she bangs a fist against her skull. Standing up she staggers her way to the fridge to gather the final green bottle she had. Opening it she knocks some back as she once more staggers herself back to the spot she left and slumps to the floor. Hot tears still leaked out of her eyes as she once more pressed the barrel against her temple.

“You know how to make it stop. A bullet in the head solves everything.” The voice echoed.

Finger tightening around the trigger as the voice echoing in her mind gets louder. “Make it stop. Release your soul from this flesh prison. It isn’t longed for this world.” Mia’s hand trembles as the pressure releases from the trigger. “Fuck you.” Mia says, softly at first through she repeats the phrase louder, “Fuck you!”

“Your worthless with out your powers. You are no good to anyone.” The voices echo in her mind once more has Mia’s finger tightens around the trigger once again.

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all. - William Goldman

Glassy eyes stared forward as Mia looked at the wall in front of her. The voices were still ringing in her head but she was at the point where they were muffled. First time it happened it had only taken a quarter of a bottle yet now it was pushing her to two full bottles. How she stilled remembered everything was beyond her, though in the back of her mind she was dreading the fall. For most of the week, she had been doing the same thing; drinking till she blacked out and cried her self to sleep with the pistol in her hand, the magazine out and only one bullet in the chamber. Why couldn’t she just pull the trigger? Why did she always stop before the hammer fell?

A sharp knock pierced the silence in her apartment. Looking over to her door Mia remained on the floor. Sure, she was yelling but she wasn’t making too many loud noises. Why was there someone at the door? A second round of knocking cut through her questions, louder this time. Great she thought to herself as she shakily stood up and moved over to the door. Fumbling with the chain lock and the deadbolt on the door Mia finally opened it. Glassy blood shot eyes took in the figure in front of her. The normal blue of her eyes was being consumed by the crimson that had worked its way through her eyes. “What?” She asks gruffly though as soon as the figure opened its mouth Mia scowled.

“My don’t we, and by we I mean you, look like shit.” The raven-haired devil said; her lips contorting into a smirk.

“Fuck you Fin.” Mia responded as her glassy eyes narrowed at the killer standing at her door.

With out missing a beat, “Yeah, yeah, been there, done that.” Finality responded allowing the smirk to twist in a grin. “So, what were you celebrating and are you going to invite me in or will I have to barge in?”

Looking blankly at Finality Mia sighed and moved away from the door and back into her flat. Finality’s eyes glanced over to her worktable and the communicator in pieces as well as her phone without its battery. Rubbing at her arms as she shivered lightly in the cold flat, Mia slumps against the wall and slides back down onto the floor as she looks up to Finality. “I’m celebrating nothing.” she replies flatly as her eyes dart to the green bottle next to her.

“Wow, lucky nothing.” Finality replied absently as her eyes moved about the room, scanning it in a grid pattern; her mind assessing the scene. Speaking as her eyes move about the room, “Tiphareth sent me to check on you. Seems today I’m playing errand boy. So…” Finality’s words trail off as she turns to face Mia. “…what the fuck?”

Looking up blankly back up at her, Mia blinks. The voices in her head are screaming, though the simple act of having someone else here seems to be causing them to pull back and lose some ground in her mind. “Well I’m alive.” She responds though despite her best efforts a tone of resentfulness fill her voice as she speaks the last word.

“Yep, you are.” Finality says as her eyes shift from looking at Mia to the pistol lying on the ground next to the drunken brunette. Reaching down, Mia slides the pistol closer to her. Undaunted Finality bends down and takes the pistol away from Mia. Pulling the slide back just enough to see if it’s loaded, she releases the slide but not ejecting the shell, engages the safety.

Leaning her head back against the wall Mia stares up at Finality. “What the fuck do you really want Fin?” She asks her glassy eyes narrowing as she pulls her legs up to her chest and wraps her arms around her knees.

Setting the pistol down next to Mia, Finality sits down next to the drunk. “I told you, I was asked to check on you. The mama angel is worried.” After a moment of silence, Finality looks at Mia sideways from behind her glasses. “So you gonna check out?” she asks as she lights a cigarette and holds the pack out to Mia.

“Why not? I’m no good to anyone. . .” her voice catching in her throat she pulls a cigarette from the pack and lights it off the offered match. She takes a small drag off the cancer stick before continuing, “I can see them Fin, all of them, their faces and the look of horror. I hear their voices inside my head, like ants crawling around and biting.”

“All their who?” Finality asks as she takes a drag off of her cigarette.

Shaking her head slowly Mia continues, “My mistakes. I see their faces when I try to sleep. I hear their voices whispering in my ears.” Even now they were trying to get through the fog clouding Mia’s mind though their screams were slowly falling on deaf ears as Finality talked.

“And just whose faces are you seeing? The people you killed?” Finality asks as she looks, once more, sideways at the drunken brunette.

Nodding before hanging her head Mia looks down at her hands before speaking. “My hands are stained and still dripping. I’ve tried to wash it off, put it behind me yet it never washes off, it never does.”

Nodding slowly Finality takes another drag off of her cigarette. “I see…” she pauses to gather her thoughts for a moment before continuing, “Thankfully I don’t have that problem.” As she speaks, she draws one of her own pistols and ejects the round in the chamber. Catching the round she re-holsters the weapon before turning the so the butt-end to Mia. “See this?”

Mia glances over at the round in the Raven-haired female’s hand and nods as her eyes move from the round to Finality.

“I have a special box.” Finality starts, “no one has ever seen it, and in that box are nice neat little rows of spent shells. Each one the firing pin end dipped in the blood of the one that round killed.” Pausing to take a drag off of her cancer stick, “We serial killers keep trophies you know. Each one I hunted is there and some nights I take it out and look it over, remembering them and I smile.” Already a smile is on her lips as a few memories come flashing back. “You know why I smile, other then the fact that I’m a sick bitch?” Finality asks calmly.

Shaking her head Mia’s hand slides down from her knee to the pistol lying at her side; gripping the handle she takes comfort in its weight before answering, “I figured that was the only reason you would.”

“Ya, you would.” Finality chuckles and Mia’s mouth moves to respond before being cut off as Finality continues. “But I also smile because each one represents a number of victims that get justice, their families that rest a little easier and that there is one, five, ten, or even hundred more people that won’t be victims to the sick fuck. I thought of checking out; damn near did it a few times. Hell even thought I did before I found out it was a mind fuck.”

Mia remains quiet as she listens to Finality. Part of her thankful that she was there talking yet a deeper part of her wondering why this women who puts on a mask of cold cruelty would be opening up like this. The same female who tries hard to convince those around her that she has no heart and was born with a pistol in one hand, smoke and glass of absinth in the other, would even talk like this to her.

“I ain’t gonna tell you, you can’t. I won’t even tell you its wrong, it’s your life but I will tell you this. Before you do it make sure you got no one that cares otherwise you are only being a selfish prick.” Looking over at Mia, “I can’t tell you how to come to grips, to accept what you have done.” A sarcastic grin comes over her , “Not without you laying on a couch and paying me $150 per hour.” Pausing Finality takes a light drag before continuing. “The thing is Mia, you ain’t a serial killer or a mass murder. You know how I know this?”

“No but I get the feeling you are going to tell me anyway.” Mia responds wondering why this person next to her was even taking time out of her day to do this. Why was she picking now to open up to her? Maybe it was due to the chance that Mia wouldn’t be remembering this conversation anyway or that despite her cold bitchy exterior Finality actually had a heart.

Snorting and laughing Finality shakes her head as she explains, “Because I don’t have a shell with your blood on it in my box. Are you a good or a bad person? Hell I don’t know. You’re competent and I don’t want to kick your teeth in.” Once more Finality pauses to let her words sink in before continuing. “The thing is those faces, are they victims or predators?”

Mia shrugged lightly as she listened to Finality speak. Some of what she was saying was piercing the fog in her mind and was making sense. Words finally forming in her mind Mia spoke with a tone of sadness and slight regret. “They are neither, just failures where I wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t quick enough, wasn’t smart enough. Each one suffered because I failed at something and turned to violence instead of trying to bring them in.”

“Ah, and you hear them tell you to off yourself?” Finality asks calmly.

Nodding, “Its cause I’m weak and . . .” Mia stops speaking as the words become sticky and cling to the sides of her throat. After swallowing, she finally is able to force them out, “A normal.”

“A normal? Hey fuck you, I’m a normal you arrogant meta c*nt.” Finality bites back, which causes Mia to recoil back slightly. She hadn’t meant it as an insult. Besides there was nothing wrong with being normal but to Mia, being a meta for all your known life to suddenly loosing the one thing that made you stand out among a crowd, was a fate worse then death. Still Finality pressed on her sharp attack. “You think being a norm is weak? Then you are stupid, besides smelling like bad booze.” Taking a breath Finality once more glances sideways at Mia. “So what happened, no more powers or something?”

Blinking Mia shrugged even though she had felt the verbal attack it was dulled in her mind. “I don’t know. I came back from that ritual and passed out. When I woke, I couldn’t feel the water in the air. I couldn’t move it, manipulate it. Even my grounding unit is reading nothing, no build up. I can’t run my suit, all that was me left and I don’t know why.” Shaking her head quickly she stops as soon she opens her eyes. The room was spinning, which caused her to close her eyes again. As she tried to wipe the fog in her mind, Finality’s words cut through.

“So you just gonna give up?”

“I am who I am because of what I was born with.” Mia admits.

“What a crock of shit. Your powers define you? My god you metas are pussies.” Finality responds and quickly Mia glares at her and snaps back. “Fuck you.”

“No fuck you, you sanctimonious, self-righteous, emo, pitiful crybaby meta.” Finality snaps back though the biting edge in her voice vanished as she waved a dismissive hand. “My pistols, the knives, and the weapons I use. . . all are tools.”

Mia remained quiet as she kept her knees pulled close to her chest. Glancing sideways towards Finality, she shook her head lightly. She was sure that at this point, if she were an animal, she would be whimpering and cowering from Finality. Twice now, she had done a preverbal newspaper smack on Mia’s nose and like every animal, she learned quickly not to place it where it would get her hurt.

“I am what I am because of a fucked up DNA strand that makes me a serial killer, but I choose who I kill. I use it. I could have been another Edwards Gain but instead I choose my victims to be other killers. So in that way I defined myself.” Pausing she took a drag off of the dying cigarette.

“It was never your powers that impressed me Mia. It was your fucking brain, your competence, the way you handled yourself in crises. That person was not formed by your powers. There are other metas with powers like you had, even stronger and they are total pricks. You are more then your powers, stupid.” Finality says shrugging. “But hey, I’m probably wasting air here. What the fuck would a normal know right?” She adds standing. “So the question before you is this, do you tell the voices to kiss your ass and try to find out why your powers are gone, see if you can get em back, and if not then use what you already know and adapt. Or take the easy way and check out.”

“Think hard on that because the second choice is usually forever and you can’t change your mind on it. But if it you do, it was good knowing you Mia. You were one of the few I could tolerate and I will have a drink for you, before saying you were an idiot.” Finality finishes as she starts to move towards the door to leave. Stopping she turns back around. “Oh if it is number 2, in the mouth, through the roof; that way you die and don’t risk just being a vegetable.”

Mia nods along silently as she listens, her eyes tracking her. “You were wrong Fin.” she says her voice quiet as if she was trying to convince herself more then try to continue the conversation she was having with the raven-haired killer.

“Oh? Enlighten me.” Finality says turning around.

“You claim I have taken no trophies.” Mia says carefully as she slips out of the shirt that she was wearing, exposing the scars on her upper arms. “283 marks, the first is on my back. Each one a person I’ve killed.” Her tone was clearly resentful, though mixed with sadness.

“How do they make you feel when you look at them?” Finality asked calmly.

“Sick to my stomach. My back is different. That one . . .” Mia’s voice fails her as once more her words become sticky and clings to the sides of her throat.

“That one, what?” Finality asks.

“That one was the first time I failed to save someone.” Mia looked up at Finality, grinning lopsidedly as her mind slipped into her memories, allowing her to go back to happier times. Back when she was more carefree, back when all that mattered to her was when the next day off was so she and Johnny could go out on the town. A pub down the street from the base was a local haunt of theirs. “I was almost married once. Did you know that? A bloke back home; part of my unit.

Crushing the dead cigarette Finality drew another from her pack and held it out to Mia. Shaking her head Mia looked up at Finality as she started speaking. “Nope don’t think I did. So he died somehow and you cut your back and from then each time you ‘fail’ to save someone you cut yourself and beat the shit out of yourself. Those aren’t trophies, that’s flagellation.” Looking away, she continues. “But yeah I know what it is like losing someone, it hurts but then so does life. I ain’t Tiph, I ain’t gonna preach love and shit at you and I certainly ain’t gonna tell you killing is wrong. Life is a big turd sandwich and you get to eat it so chew away.”

Pushing off of the ground Mia stands up carefully, leaning against the wall behind her. Focusing on the weight of the gun in her hand Mia felt grounded somehow, focusing on her she slowly started to clear the fog in her mind. “I’m tired Fin. I’m tired of all the bullshit pressure. The ‘save the world’ mentality. Some days I just want to see it burn.” adding absently. “I didn’t cut my back.”

“I hear you.” Finality grins and adds, “Ok you didn’t, I ain’t a mind reader.” Then pausing to take a drag before continuing, “Some days I wonder why the fuck I do it. Then I remember I can’t help myself. I’m a serial killer. Once I used to fight it, now… I accept it and you know what? I like what I do. I get off on it; it gives me a high and a nice warm fuzzy feeling.” another drag, “What are you Mia?”

“I don’t know what I am.” Mia answers rubbing her eyes.

Finaility looks at Mia for a long moment then, “If you really wanted to off yourself then why haven’t you? I know you ain’t a coward, so why are you struggling against it? Think about that.”

She then turns and closes the remaining distance to the door before speaking without facing Mia, “Oh and one more thing, Tiph wanted me to tell you this too. Marcus has been abducted and is going to be killed. So if failing people really pushes your buttons you might consider pulling your ass together and trying to help. You can get the details from Tiph or that scary Meri chick she calls sister.” Opening the door she stops and turns back around as a familiar sound reaches her ears.

Mia’s thumb deftly clicks the safety off of the pistol. Her arm starts to rise, as the voices in her head grew louder by each passing second but the words Finality spoke caused something to click in her mind. The voices vanished and for some reason the fog in her mind cleared and her arm moved quicker upwards. Squeezing the trigger the chambered round goes off as the window by her worktable shatters. Looking over to Finality Mia nods as the crimson vanishes from her blue eyes. “Thank you Fin.”

“For what?” Finality asks she grins and turns to the door, “You think I give a fuck?” then moves through the opened doorway, chuckling as she closes it behind her.

Smiling lightly Mia mutters under her breath. “Fuck you too.”